content/posts/2017/2017-02-27-discovering-yourself/index.md
---
title: "Discovering yourself"
cover: "https://picsum.photos/1600/800/?image=103"
date: 2017-02-27 23:16:49 +0200
tags:
- Mindset
- Communication
- Relationships
---
> “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ― Aristotle
Sometimes I struggle to consciously understand my actions. This makes it
hard for me to find out why I react the way I do in certain situations.
In some cases I am proud of how I act but other cases I feel bad and wish I
didn't say or do something in that moment.
If I can't consciously identify the trigger, I have less control of my behavior
which is often driven by an automated response.
## Introspection
Introspection is a good way to become aware of your behavior. This is where
you take time to think about your mental and emotional processes. It can help
you identify triggers that cause you to act the way you do. You can become
self-aware and consciously change your behavior with time, patience and practice.
Although I believe it is a good daily practice to incorporate in ones life,
it can take a lot of time to figure out who you are and what drives your behavior.
## Journaling
Another technique is to capture specific moments, reactions and feelings in a
journal each day. It can improve your introspection over a longer period of time.
I struggle to keep a journal but do see the value in doing so as it documents
your personality whereby you could draw interesting conclusions to what triggers
your behavior over time especially when you have difficulty remembering things.
- [How to Journal for Therapy](http://www.wikihow.com/Journal-for-Therapy) from
wikiHow
- [10 Journaling Tips to Help You Heal, Grow and Thrive](http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-journaling-tips-to-help-you-heal-grow-and-thrive/)
from the Tiny Buddha
- [The Power in Writing About Yourself](https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/12/ew-feelings/383475/)
from The Atlantic
## Personality tests
I generally don't buy into personality tests and quizzes but I was recently
exposed to two tests that yielded eerie results - capturing my core
personality traits in words that I strongly relate to.
- [Enneagram](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/)
- [16Personalities](https://www.16personalities.com/)
Having taken the tests I have been exposed to a better understanding of
myself - a stepping stone to self awareness - which would have taken much
longer to achieve through introspection and journaling.
The combination of reports provide information relating to:
- What makes you tick
- Your strengths and weaknesses
- Why and how you behave in different relationships and situations
- Your behavior in teams, leadership and management
- Your career paths and workplace habits
- Your growth paths
- Your blind spots
- How you deal with conflict
- How you make decisions
- How to attain Mastery in your profession
## Enneagram
According to Integrative, a South African-based company that provides Enneagram
Solutions, the Enneagram is an archetypal framework that offers in-depth
insight to individuals, groups and collectives.
It consists of
[three centres of intelligence](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/centres/),
[nine main Enneagram types](https://www.integrative.co.za/Enneagram/Introduction/),
[18 wings](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/wings-lines-integration/), and
[three subtypes and Triadic styles](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/27-subtypes/).
They go on to say that it does not box in people, but rather opens a pathway
to self-discovery and greater personal awareness.
> The Integrative Enneagram Questionnaire draws on the collective body of
> knowledge and experience from many pioneers in the Enneagram field and as the
> developers of the iEQ9 we would like to acknowledge the experts,
> philosophers and practitioners for their contribution to the development
> and application of the model as we understand it today. ~ Dirk Cloete,
> Founder Integrative9 Enneagram Solutions
There are places where you can take the test for free however the Integrative
test is paid for. They offer
[three reports](https://www.integrative.co.za/GetYourType/) at different costs
depending on how much information you want to gain from the test.
The nine Enneagram types include:
1. **[Strict Perfectionist](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/introduction/type-1/)**:
The Rational, Idealistic Type: Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic
2. **[Considerate Helper](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/introduction/type-2/)**:
The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, and Possessive
3. **[Competitive Achiever](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/introduction/type-3/)**:
The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious
4. **[Intense Creative](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/introduction/type-4/)**:
The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
5. **[Quiet Specialist](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/introduction/type-5/)**:
The Intense, Cerebral Type: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated
6. **[Loyal Sceptic](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/introduction/type-6/)**:
The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious
7. **[Enthusiastic Visionary](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/introduction/type-7/)**:
The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered
8. **[Active Controller](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/introduction/type-8/)**:
The Powerful, Dominating Type: Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational
9. **[Adaptive Peacemaker](https://www.integrative.co.za/enneagram/introduction/type-9/)**:
The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent
_They are labelled differently depending on the institute
but revolve around the same principles. The above are labelled by Integrative
while the descriptions come from
[enneagraminstitute.com](https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions)._
## 16Personalities
This test is free but has premium content that you can pay for if you so choose.
The free content is extensive, very informative and eerily accurate.
In fact, at the time of writing they actually mention that you get a
'freakishly accurate' description of who you are and why you do things the way
you do.
As the name suggests there are [16 personality types](https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types)
each with its own [acronym](https://www.16personalities.com/articles/our-theory)
broken down into 4 categories:
_Note for the acronyms:_
_These are the five personality aspects. They define the personality type when
they are combined._
- **_Mind_** - _Introversion (I) or Extraversion (E)_
- **_Energy_** - _Intuition (N) or Sensing (S)_
- **_Nature_** - _Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)_
- **_Tactics_** - _Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)_
- **_Identity_** - _Assertive (-A) or Turbulent (-T)_
_The Identity aspect underpins all personalities, showing how confident we are
in our abilities and decisions. They elaborate on this in
[their theory](https://www.16personalities.com/articles/our-theory)._
### Analysts
- **[Architect](https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality)**: (INTJ Personality)
Imaginative and strategic thinkers, with a plan for everything.
- **[Logician](https://www.16personalities.com/intp-personality)**: (INTP Personality)
Innovative inventors with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge.
- **[Commander](https://www.16personalities.com/entj-personality)**: (ENTJ Personality)
Bold, imaginative and strong-willed leaders, always finding a way – or making one.
- **[Debater](https://www.16personalities.com/entp-personality)**: (ENTP Personality)
Smart and curious thinkers who cannot resist an intellectual challenge.
### Diplomats
- **[Advocate](https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality)**: (INFJ Personality)
Quiet and mystical, yet very inspiring and tireless idealists.
- **[Mediator](https://www.16personalities.com/infp-personality)**: (INFP Personality)
Poetic, kind and altruistic people, always eager to help a good cause.
- **[Protagonist](https://www.16personalities.com/enfj-personality)**: (ENFJ Personality)
Charismatic and inspiring leaders, able to mesmerize their listeners.
- **[Campaigner](https://www.16personalities.com/enfp-personality)**: (ENFP Personality)
Enthusiastic, creative and sociable free spirits, who can always find a reason to smile.
### Sentinels
- **[Logistician](https://www.16personalities.com/istj-personality)**: (ISTJ Personality)
Practical and fact-minded individuals, whose reliability cannot be doubted.
- **[Defender](https://www.16personalities.com/isfj-personality)**: (ISFJ Personality)
Very dedicated and warm protectors, always ready to defend their loved ones.
- **[Executive](https://www.16personalities.com/estj-personality)**: (ESTJ Personality)
Excellent administrators, unsurpassed at managing things – or people.
- **[Consul](https://www.16personalities.com/esfj-personality)**: (ESFJ Personality)
Extraordinarily caring, social and popular people, always eager to help.
### Explorers
- **[Virtuoso](https://www.16personalities.com/istp-personality)**: (ISTP Personality)
Bold and practical experimenters, masters of all kinds of tools.
- **[Adventurer](https://www.16personalities.com/isfp-personality)**: (ISFP Personality)
Flexible and charming artists, always ready to explore and experience something new.
- **[Entrepreneur](https://www.16personalities.com/estp-personality)**: (ESTP Personality)
Smart, energetic and very perceptive people, who truly enjoy living on the edge.
- **[Entertainer](https://www.16personalities.com/esfp-personality)**: (ESFP Personality)
Spontaneous, energetic and enthusiastic people – life is never boring around them.
_Labels and descriptions taken from
[16personalities.com](https://www.16personalities.com)._
## My final thoughts
As I have been experiencing Imposter Syndrome it has been difficult to
internalize my accomplishments, acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses and
understand why I act the way I do in certain situations.
Having done both personality tests I am one step closer to understanding myself
more. I believe that discovering myself is a life-long journey but this
stepping stone is a true eye-opener and very useful for self improvement.
There are certain personality traits that I have that highly affect my
experiences of Imposter Syndrome and being conscious about it I can make more
rational and deliberate decisions when I put my mind to it.
I believe that if you are able to understand why you do things the way you do,
you can deliberately improve your behavior especially in pressured situations.
It can improve your productivity, the way you communicate with other personality
types, team dynamics and leadership qualities. Amongst other things.
Taking the test alone won't yield much results. It just highlights possible
triggers and can make you more aware. It is a good guidance report to get you
on the path to self-awareness. Daily introspection is still important and
journaling could aid as improvement documentation.